And so I write once again today on a rainy October day, sipping the organic coffee and wondering what is the next thing to rant about. Lette’s post reminded me of another situation that I’m trying to figure out.
As I’ve mentioned in the past threads that I’m born deaf with congenital damage but function as HoH which could lead to clashes of self-identity in being the Great Neo debating whether he is for the Machines or the Humans.
Currently, I am living in a college town that is an hour south from where I used to reside in and once a week or so, I’d drive up northbound to get away from the mundanity of things. How I got here is a long story since a year ago. My social life is not bad but given the fact that I get around in the ‘hearing’ world when I can and deal with the deaf community time to time for services needed, even though I work for one of their agences now on a part-time basis.
Socially, I don’t hang with deaf people much around here except crossing paths with them a few times a month while with the hearing world, I do bump into familiar faces and network as much for my creative endeavors.
There are less than about 10 HoHs around here in Vermont…at least from what I’m told but the figures could be inaccurate. And my method to communicate is by lip-reading, using Relay calls (only for business or emergencies) and text/email by the Blackberry to which I have unlimited use for. And have a Sorenson video phone that allows me to talk to local deaf people on the tv screen and have not tested the web cam to video phone experiment yet.
The video phone requires high speed internet access and to which I have DSL attached to it and my computer. Unfortunately, I despise land phones due to bad experiences in the past with telemarketers and have to struggle to understand what the person is saying. Although, there is the CapTel tech letting the captions go across the screen on the phone ‘live’ as you are seeing what the person says and in the meantime, allow you to use your natural voice.
The problem is that it requires a phone service and that adds up the bill. Plus, it makes having a 2nd phone redundant when my Blackberry can do the job when I’m out of the house. The catch-22 is that my Blackberry does not have a voice plan and I rarely make calls that if I added a voice plan, it would not be worth it.
Now…when I’m out to other places and meet people, I carry my business cards just in case. The cards mention my name, email address and cell phone #. That’s it. My web url is already obviously printed for folks to look up.
I’ve seen guys talk to women (yes, I know..I’m treading this territory again), they’re conditioned to ask for her phone # if she’s interested. I did’nt realize up to until this point that this might backfire on me due to my lack of voice plan on the Blackberry and landphones. I’ve noticed that women love to gab on the phone for hours on their cellphones and text. Clearly, texting is good for making plans ‘on the go’ but not for lengthy conversations.
I’ve been careful to try not to get into a dark area in bars/clubs when talking to someone so I can see their lips and understand what they’re saying. I’m not involved with anyone yet, but I have a growing concern that if she starts to like me and wants to have a conversation, how am I supposed to convince her that I use the Blackberry/email/Instant Messaging to communicate besides one on one in person as the best method?
If I used Relay calls, it’s going to make the woman very uncomfortable and awkward and wonder why I would use that when I was able to talk to her with my voice. This option will never be used by me unless for extreme emergencies. I don’t like the idea of forking out $40 bucks for a second phone service that I will almost never use, just so the woman (whoever she is) and I would have a conversation.
She would not have access to video phone technology because it is clearly for the deaf and we use them for free. The only way to use that is if she has a web cam. So, how many women out there would have that?
Texting…is free for me…but if I continue using that method, it will cost the person on the other end. E-mail and web browsing is free as well. If I used the phone feature, it will cost me .20 cents a minute, plus long distance if applicable.
When I go out and I see someone interesting, I always ask for an email address AFTER the conversation. Because if I asked for a phone #, the girl would probably think twice, maybe after seeing my hearing-aid. I’ve asked the local deaf people on advice….
They had no clue how to advise me on this.
The only thing is that if she had a computer and uses Instant Messaging, it would be the closest thing to having a phone conversation and I have 2 IM programs on my Blackberry. One of the best tools for the phone.
So really…how in hell do I convince women not to shy away from the fact that I use methods a bit different than a phone call to converse and not ‘write me off’ just because I look harmless. I’ve heard stories that women would look at certain men and write off some of them that appear ‘harmless’ and un-exciting to the point of being unworthy of a conversation. I can’t date deaf women here because there’s not a lot of them my age in this state or even too far spread apart in areas I don’t even know and some of them are very self-absorbed in their world.
For instance, I walked to a wine bar last Friday night….saw a HoH/deaf girl that I remembered being acquainted with from the deaf community and she saw me, then waved but was busy talking to an older man (she’s about early to mid 20s). I went to a table and ordered a drink while watching a ballgame.
A while later, she leaves with this guy without even bothering to say hello to me. And this was the only time I saw her again in more than a year or so.
What am I supposed to do then? How am I supposed to tear the wall down? Maybe I should ask Pink Floyd?
