Somewhat Silent

You know the guys collecting for something or other that seem to jump out of the clouds from nowhere, and invade ur day unexpectedly when your absentmindedly strolling through town thinking about aft things that may or may not need to be done!!
Being severely deaf, I have a thing I do if anyone like this jumps at me and goes to give me a hug or shake my hand and once they got you, thats it your there for an hour and eventually ur talked into handing over your account number!!, well Im going straight to hell for this but it works, and Im not entirely lying either!!, I usually sign to them and mouth that Im deaf!, well Im not lying am I, its just a quick and polite way of saying leave me alone!, well I did it today, but the guy didnt let up, he followed me! and said, are you really?? really are you deaf??? and mumbled on about people doing it often to get him off his back, He had a beard and town was busy and not a great environment for lipreading, so the truth was, I couldnt hear him properly so I signed it again and pointed to my hearing aids, and walked off, and he yelled something after me!! I was pretty pissed off over that, that was kind ignorant on his part, who yells at the back of a deaf person?? Im not completely deaf no, but still that was uncalled for! This was the same guy that did it to me again about a week ago, my little sister was with me and he did the same thing so its not the first time it happened with him!
yet I felt a little guilty as he is just doing his job as invasive and all as it is, so I stopped around the corner and wrote a note, I have no Idea why, Im well able to talk I just didnt want to, so I wrote a quick note with the entention of handing it to him quickly and be off on my merry way, my note said,
‘Im sorry I walked away I know ur just doing ur job, but I am deaf, and I cant hear you properly and if I had more time id try to listen, good luck’
I turned around to walk back to where he was, and there he was running towards me, and he said, ‘Im so sorry for being so rude,’ I handed him the note, he continued, ‘ Its just so many people do that just to be left alone, I thought u were the same, Im so sorry for behaving that way’, he read the note, and I said, ‘ur fine but I do have a hearing problem and didnt have the time to lipread you I know ur only doing ur job but be carefull, there are some of us who dont lie’!
He said im so sorry, again and shook my hand and smiled, and I went to work! I was pissed at first with the way he reacted to me on the street, but I admired him for swallowing his pride and following me up to say sorry, that was genuinly nice But in all fairness he should be more carefull and learn from what happened, these people walk the street and have no training first, I hope he knows better now!

Lette

Ok this could be fun if you would be able to help me with ideas?

Im in thought of changing the angle and look of my blog, its dying, not a lot read it, and Id like to use it for just more than daily ramblings, Im big into photography, Im in art college and Im a deaf student too so I wanna go down that route without being boring and clinical, and just because im deaf I dont want it to look like pity mongering, I have no interest at all in pity thank you, but rather a helping hand and just to voice my views on the matter of all my interests!!
Also there are plenty Deaf Blogs out there and only a few Deaf photography/ creative blogs so maybe it would be a good idea, Now all i got to figure out is a new layout, Id like the pictures a bit bigger but ill have to see.
Now the rest is up to you lot, if your even reading, I need feedback,
What do you want to see from a blog, weather you are into photography, art, your deaf or anyone at all, tell me what you want to see, please drop a line and help me out and hopefully I can delever a blog worth reading!! because lately my blog is even boring me!!!

so no matter who you are or what ur into tell me what u would like to see

Thank you

Hello dear Somewhat Silent friends and readers. I wrote this stuff a couple of months ago and it’s gathering cobwebs already so I decided to finally post it.:)

            There were episodes of silence in my life. When I say episodes of silence it means times when I don’t talk to God, when our line of communication is broken, when I do not pray, I am silent.

            Sometimes this silence will come to the point where I will be filled with hatred and rage. In my mind I will rage against my parents who did not move heaven and earth to have my deafness treated. In my mind I will tell them this deafness is the cause of all my life’s misfortunes. That this deafness made me believe I will amount to nothing. I want even arrogantly to tell the world I am capable of doing most anything except hear well. This deafness warped and dented my personality.

            My deeply caring family will try to counsel me out of my pain and anger. My heart’s response was always – you will never know my pain unless you’re deaf yourself.

Strangely I never vented my anger on God. I just kept silent. I’m so hurt I refuse to talk to Him or confront Him. Perhaps because from childhood I have known Him to be a good, loving and merciful God and it is impossible for such kind of God to make me deaf, or give me pain. I have a great respect for this God that I dare not question Him but I behaved in such a way that He will see how hurt I was.

            This silence stretched to many years until I woke up to the realization that God is not silent. In fact He’s trying to reach me, He’s talking to me. It is I who would not listen.

Thru a loving family who would not give up on me, thru times of self searching and reading the Bible and books about God I rediscovered the good God of my childhood. I learned divine truths that I need not question God about my disability.  He is the potter, I am the clay. There is pain and sickness because we live in a fallen world.

 God does not always give us answers to our questions but He gave us promises we can stand on. And most importantly, life is not about us but about God and His love for us while we still have a disability.

            Ted Turner, the US media mogul said that God is only for losers. Exactly! And also for us who have lost our hearing. Even if we can cope, even if we have access to the best medical practitioners and the latest in technology, even if we have a supportive family, we still need God. Because again life is about Him and His love for us while we still have a disability. This only means even if God will not miraculously unstop our ears in our lifetime there is still a life out yonder when our healing will be complete. God is good and His mercies never end.