I love going on roadtrips to here, there, anywhere. Just the notion of getting the heck outta dodge gives me a sense of refreshment and adventure, even if it’s only for a weekend jaunt to the next nearest city (mostly Chicago). But there’s one painfully frustrating aspect that kills me every time.
Usually, I’m with my old college group on these trips. At some ungodly hour of the morning, 4-5 of my friends pick me up and off we go, armed with Starbucks, iPods, and bagels. As the city traffic melts away behind us, I promptly shift my pillow against the car window and go fast asleep. The indistinguishable group banter of my friends against the noise of expressways and freighter trucks is too painful for my deaf heart to hear (or rather, NOT hear). My friends will talk, laugh, and tell stories for hours on end - and I sit in silence, patiently waiting for the next pitstop to initiate any kind of conversation. Sometimes, for entertainment purposes, I’ll watch my friends lips move and fabricate a dialogue of what they might be saying - kind of like that improv game “scripts”. But for the most part - I’m just drenched in jealousy and resentment that I cannot partake in this rite of passage - this social interaction that others take for granted with ease.
When we finally reach our destination - everyone gets out of the car, bright-eyed and good-natured with having that 5 hour verbal bonding experience (kind of like the ending of “the Breakfast Club”). Me, I feel mostly out-of-whack and completely disconnected from the group - full of bitter wonderment of just what did I miss out on? What shared stories about my friends will I never know because it will never be mentioned again - them assuming that I had heard it the first time around? What jokes did my mouth did not bust out laughing at? What revealed secrets was I not privy to? It hurts and it sucks to not have the same experience as the five people sitting next to you. Deafness sucks.
November 24th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
*hug* I hate the car-experience too. =\
November 24th, 2005 at 4:21 pm
HUG2!! well consider this, it also sucks for them to stand in the middle of a busy croud in a loud night club, screaming at eachother to make conversation, usually about nothing important, and they wonder why they wake up the following morning with a banging headach!!
while you and I can smile at the fact, that noise like that is nothing more than a pleasant mumble, and it doesnt bother us like it does them!!
what im trying to say is, I do know what ur going through, I lipread too, though mainly in places of echo, which to me are in my everyday life, i cant hear in college! which is most important, and i can feel terribly upset when in a lecture and i cant keep up with the discussion.
then there are sometimes where i cherish the bliss of silence
and it is unfortunate that we cant have it both ways and just switch it on and off when we like
But keep smiling, and look on the bright side, there are allways benifits to every downside
Lette XXX
November 25th, 2005 at 1:23 pm
Lette- Find out if you can get a CART transcriber/system for college. Seriously.
(It’s like captioning service for class.) You may be legally entitled to one. This would help out tremendously on the discussion/lecture front.
November 25th, 2005 at 2:19 pm
yeah, i was looking into that sara, i am more than intitled to it, but ill have to wait for the new aids! and unfortunatly, they are taking their time!! ill have to wait and see!!
November 26th, 2005 at 7:38 am
I’m lucky that I can hear people in a car if I am sat in the right place and it is someone I can lipread. Often though, I’ll just space out and watch the road, or read. The latter which ironically makes me less dizzy than if I don’t read - how’s that for a weird vestibular system.
We don’t really do road trips in the UK, petrol is too expensive, and we tend to think any drive of longer than an hour is looooong. My girlfriend and I sometimes drive to see friends, but she gets nauseated with speech in cars, so we tend to have tapes in the car. This is quite good because I can just space out and watch the road which I really like doing, especially if I get the front seat.
If I’m with friends I’ll either stick to talking to the one I can hear or let them gabber on without me. It makes a change for me not to be the gobby one!
November 26th, 2005 at 11:06 am
Oo, I love music in the car. It’s something I can listen to and enjoy and appreciate, and something about the sound systems that are in most cars, make them very appropriate for my variety of hearing loss. Music in the car, or me getting the front passenger seat (shotgun!) makes trips bearable.
October 30th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
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October 30th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
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November 2nd, 2006 at 4:24 pm
I got mennigitis when I was 3 years old and with my aids I can hear some sounds but never able to decipher speech. I have
to read lips. Up until 4th grade I signed and went to a deaf school but my family stressed the oralism and I went to
speech therapy almost everyday until I was in 8th grade. Well.. When my parents decided to mainstream me at 4th grade, i hated
the fact that I was the only deaf student and I refused an interpreter and I refused to sign. If anyone signed to me I would
ignore them. I was very stubborn and I would pretend I was hearing all the time. I am sure people knew because of my voice
and not knowing what was going on but I kept with it. I look back and wish I hadn’t done this soooo bad because my childhood
really really really sucked because of this. I had hardly no friends. Then in high school my grades started to plummet and
i met a man that taught signlanguage at my school. He took an interest in me and talked me into getting an interpreter and
because of him i went to gallaudet for 2 years. Well, by this time it was too late and my family talks to me so I have to be
oral with them. I have noticed that in class if I start using my voice then people hear it and think wow.. she talks pretty good
so she must be able to hear pretty well and they start talking to me. It pisses me off soo much. So the past year I have given
up.. even though I speak clearly enough I take notepad and pen with me whereever I go and I make hearing people write stuff down.
when I have an interpreter with me, i use them fully. I suck at ASL because I learned it later but I am good at signed english.
My professors and classmates have no idea that I can actually speak. I knwo this is bad but i am fed up trying to lip read and
missing stuff all the time because people think i can just read lips. I hate being ‘inbetween’ worlds and sometimes I just want
to be in one or the other and of course i can’t be in the hearing. it helps a lot and reduces stress but i work as a cashier and
have to use my voice/read lips so when people from class or a teacher come in come in i feel like ive been ‘busted’ because
they are like ‘i didn’t know you could talk’. sometimes i really wish i was raised just using sign language and no hearing aids
then i wouldn’t be in this predictament. sometimes i just want to move to another state where noone knows me and start over.
i really really hate being stuck. “you have the best of both worlds” is bullcrap!
January 10th, 2007 at 7:37 am
I can understand your feelings . Don’t get tension …peace until the next time..Good wishes to you
Don Lapre Max
webmaster@donlaprewilliams.com
www.donlaprewilliams.com