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July 30th, 2005 at 3:36 pm
Great question. Yes - I verify a lot, and it does annoy me when hearing people simply don’t bother to do that, or even to listen at all. They take hearing information for granted so sometimes it passes them by through lack of concentration I suppose, whereas we are much more careful to make sure we’ve actually got something ‘right’ in terms of communicating things.
July 31st, 2005 at 11:56 am
I go through this a lot with friends by repeating the information or phrases..even at work, I had to verify the order to make sure it’s accurate. It’s even harder in a loud setting so..it’s all about turning my head to hear more or read their lips..and sometimes I wonder if it’ll turn off hearing people when I try to verify or assume that we’re idiots when we are just trying to make sure what we heard exactly.
July 31st, 2005 at 12:20 pm
Hehe If I went to your Starbucks, I’d most likely hug you for the verifying thing. I’ll say “Tall cappuccino” and they’ll give me a carmel-flavoured drink.
So what I usually do is FORCE them to recieve multiple lines of communication. I’ll say “Cappuccino”, they’ll say “what size?” I’ll say “grande cappuccino” that way they’ve heard my order twice and have more of an opportunity to realize that a.) I want a cappuccino not some carmael-thing, or b.) that they didn’t understand me and that they should really ask what I’m ordering.
Hearing people just DO NOT VERIFY what they’re hearing. They’re slap-dash and arrogant in their assumptions. :p
July 31st, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Maybe we should cut their ears off and see how they like it or blow out their ear drums in a loud room….
July 31st, 2005 at 1:25 pm
That’s not such a bad idea. It’s the sheer laziness and carelessness of it that irritates me in terms of hearing people failing to verify - simply assuming they’ve heard right because they can hear. Sara’s system of saying everything in stages so that repetition is built into the process is a very good idea - I shall try it and hope that for once I can go into Costa and get hot chocolate *without* marshmallows. I probably never hear the question when they ask if I want them, so I always say “without marshmallows”. But that seems to be the way to guarantee that I get them…
July 31st, 2005 at 1:42 pm
My mom has this allergy to cheese/dairy products, so she always says “NO CHEESE” and they always put cheese on her food. I think that by asking not to include it, it puts it into people’s minds.
I wonder how we could say “no cheese” or “no marshmallows” without using the words cheese or marshmallows.
I think that the trick lays in getting them to actively communicate with us. When it’s just a one-exchange dialog, they’re in a repetitive rut–they are running on automatic. By jogging them out of that rut, they’ll engage in the exchange a bit more and be less inclined to make errors or false assumptions
How to do.. how to do..
July 31st, 2005 at 1:44 pm
Oo, violent solutions.
July 31st, 2005 at 1:45 pm
This thread is kinda funny. “How to get hearing people to USE THEIR FRICKIN EARS and listen as well as we do” :p
July 31st, 2005 at 1:52 pm
Hehe - you’re right - ironic that hearing people don’t LISTEN isn’t it. The problem with the “no marshmallows” thing is that in places like Starbucks or Costa they don’t listen to anything much - as they are completely pre-programmed (and presumably bored beyond insanity - I have some sympathy).
July 31st, 2005 at 2:01 pm
Maybe “NO marshmallows.” with a hand sign and head-shaking that reinforces it? (sort of double-zero hands or a sign that’s similar to the baseball sign for “safe”–for some reason that sign always says “no” to me. :p)
Or “Can you please make sure that you do NOT put marshmallows in my hot chocolate? NO marshmallows, please.” with “not” and “no” reinforced by the head-shake? If you’re asking them a question, they’ll have to respond, and the response that they give you should solidify it in their minds a little bit more.
Longer sentences = better
reinforcing movements = clearer?
Although it seems counterintutive to ask people to listen to _more_ words, maybe it’ll jog them out of their daydream state?
Of course, an additional problem is- the person who is taking the order isn’t always the person that is preparing the order. *AIEE!* So communicating to the order-taker is just the first part of a long chain of errors. :p
July 31st, 2005 at 2:05 pm
Or maybe writing it down on paper just to make them feel like fools…that’s torment enough to make them writhe in shame.
But I like the violent solution though
July 31st, 2005 at 2:10 pm
The more we are thinking about this, the more the violent solution seems like the most attractive one
But of the more peaceable ones, the problem I have had with asking them questions or longer sentences is that they will in probability say something back, with potentially dismal incomprehension issues on my part - and of course the “are you deaf or something?” jibes.
I’m normally too worried about the line behind me to say anything beyond “actually yes” to that, but still. Grrrr.
Anyway, back to the point - yes, something that MAKES them hear what you need to say is certainly the way round, and next time I want no marhsmallows I shall try it. As in “Do NOT give me marshmallows, please”. I’ll let you know what happens
July 31st, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Another option, of course, is to preface the whole thing by “Hi, I’m deaf (make handsign that indicates such.) I would like hot chocolate with no marshmallows. No marshmallows. Do. you. understand. me?”
As such, they’ll be horribly embarassed at their inability to communicate with you in your natural language (hearing people with zero deaf intereaction assume all deaf people speak sign fluently.) and they’ll do everything in their power to make sure that the order is correct so that they won’t have to deal with you again. :p
I’ve used that technique before to get out of having to have an account at a bank in order to exchange some dollar bills for quarters so I could do my laundry.
No one wants to argue with a deaf person or get their order wrong.
One part of me feels horrible doing this, the other part takes some sweet satisfaction at using their ignorance to make my life easier.
July 31st, 2005 at 3:51 pm
Yes, I’ve tried something similar - and it’s worked well. The trouble with that lies with me: in public situations I am really bad at telling people I’m deaf and want instead just to be sort of anonymous. That sounds strangely pathetic, I know! And, oddly in work situations or even (most) social ones I don’t have the same problem.
August 1st, 2005 at 9:28 pm
or..get a marker board and write down what you are trying to convey to them in the first place…in capital letters. A moderne version of CAPS LOCK YELLING.
.
I think the current generation will get it
August 2nd, 2005 at 10:20 am
Only if there’s a lot of exclamation points in place.
August 2nd, 2005 at 10:56 am
!!!!!!!!!!!! like that.
August 5th, 2005 at 9:30 am
I have that same problem with dressing and mayo - can’t tell you how many times people have screwed up my food orders even after I look at them directly in the eye and say “NO MAYO!”
What works however, is when you start by saying “I have a severe food allergy to mayo, please NO MAYO!” Watch them quake.
May 18th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
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