Julie’s recent comments have reminded me of my days as a single gal. They were full of fun, tomfoolery, loose morals, and general joy.
They were also rife with misunderstandings, miscommunications, misguided good intentions, and the constant wish that I would NEVER have to go through the same old dance of meeting yet another hearing person and having to educate them about my hearing loss.
Somehow it was more annoying with the whole “dating” thing than it ever was with the whole “friendship” thing.
At one point I actually sat down to pen a “How to Date a deaf Chick” handbook. I’ve long since lost the manuscript. But honestly, the whole feeling of “Ok, now let’s do it again…” thing still exists, although with a lesser degree, in the dances of friendship and acquaintanceship and casual-drunken-conversations-at-parties-ship.
So. I’ve decided to ressurect the spirit of the now defunct (and disappeared) “How to Date a deaf Chick” handbook.
Only now I shall call it “The Nearly (But not Quite) Comprehensive Guide and Handbook to the Care and Feeding of Your d/Deaf Friend, Date, or Family Member” (…TM)”
Whatcha think? It has a ring to it, doesn’t it?
I’m taking submissions, questions, and general suggestions. The finished work will be published here for all to enjoy, poke fun of, and copy with glee.
June 28th, 2005 at 11:45 am
So it’s Raiders of the Lost Manuscript?
Why not call it ” The Book Of All Things Silent And How To Date It “? Kind of like a book with illustrations and text in a antiquidated Victorian style of the late 1800s.
Or we could go with your title. It should be created entirely as a PDF booklet. OR even better..The Book Of The Deaf (as in Book of the Dead egyptology style).
I’m just rambling on..
June 28th, 2005 at 12:01 pm
Funny
good ideas. Honestly, I haven’t settled on title yet. Or how I want to go about doing it. But the illustrations thing might work. 
I’m more of a verbal-thinker than a picture-thinker. Hm..
June 28th, 2005 at 3:38 pm
this is going to be good
June 29th, 2005 at 2:33 am
I have a feeling that it’s going to be similiar to the “How to date a blind chick” one. Things like:
Don’t assume I heard/saw what you’re talking about.
Don’t speak super s-l-o-w-l-y just because of my disability.
Don’t grab me to lead me somewhere.
Oh and my favorite annoying sighted habit: POINTING! Wouldn’t be bad if it was pointing to a sign or something, but ya’ll have this weird vague hand motion that just says “there” but never manages to tell me where “there” is.
Ok that rants done for now.
June 29th, 2005 at 12:02 pm
Alli,
Point? that would be so ironic for the blind to “see” that. But for the deaf, we’re not so insulted. But when it comes to this kind of book project, well, I think illustrations of some sort might be amusing.
I just like illustrations done by Tony Diterlizzi (Spiderwick Chronicles..children’s book…mass market at Borders and everywhere)..art by Arthur Rackham (he’s awesome), or Aubrey Beardsley from the era of Art Nouveau. Something of that direction.
Or an abstractly underground/contemporary look of today’s approaches..good examples are from Juxtapoz magazine.
June 29th, 2005 at 12:49 pm
Why would the deaf be insulted by pointing, silly Sanctum.
The deaf equivilent to the dreaded sighted pointing disease is the “yell in the ear” disease. You know, where people in a club will try to shout in your ear, and you have to keep dancing away? 
June 29th, 2005 at 1:15 pm
Yeah..I know
. If it was a guy at a club doing that, I’d punch his head off…but a girl..she’s allowed 
.
June 29th, 2005 at 1:16 pm
Interestingly enough, the “grab to lead” thing is actually quite “correct” in deaf circles. Touching, tapping, waving at, clapping, snapping, whistling (if the person can hear those sounds), etc. are all very “proper”.
So if I were to hang out with you, I’d have to get out of my regular habits of grabbing-to-drag, pointing, tapping, assuming “if you’re not looking at me, you can’t hear me”, etc.
I treat hearing people as if they’re deaf. :p But most of my habits would make very little sense when I’m hanging out with a person who can’t see, as they’re all very relvolving around my world of “Seeing is necessary to hearing”
It would be interesting. I’d probably apologize like a monkey. Such things have become so automatic to me.
I’d most likely get over it quickly and we’d get along famously, though.
June 29th, 2005 at 4:26 pm
Oh its not the tapping gentle normal touches that are annoying its the “I need to move and you must come with but since you can’t and won’t be able to I’ll grab you and pull you behind me like a dog” thing. I’m all for someone tapping me on the shoulder to get my attention, thats actually fine. If I’m not looking at someone I’ll probably hear them but won’t listen. You learn how to tune out background noise, if I’m not focused on you then I won’t listen to you.
Its very wrong in blind circles to grab us. Nudge us and then let us hang on to you, but don’t pull. Its rather insulting. Right up there with “petting the dog while its working” and “not addressing me b/c of the cane”.
June 29th, 2005 at 5:19 pm
I’ll have to remember not to do the grab-and-pull thing, because I do it to everyone. I’m rather schizo in my navigation of NYC (too many people, things move too fast, must dart in and out and weave and RUN!) so I have this bad habit of grabbing on and running.
Good to know not to do that. I imagine it happens a lot when you’re blind, and that it drives you mad.