Somewhat Silent

…and the contrast between my young daughter’s way of dealing with hearing loss and my older mother’s way, at 80, was startling.
Whereas my daughter demanded that she find ways to communicate and be communicated with, insisting that I learn email and Instant Messaging, my Mom retreated into her deafness. She refused to learn the computer, or to use the TTY we gave her. Her hearing loss appears to have been precipitated by a strong round of antibiotic which saved her life, but destroyed her hearing. I ttried to teach my Mom emergency sign language, as her hearing only becomes worse. But she resists that and so far only knows the signs for “bathroom” and “I love you”. Mom says when she can’t hear at all, we will just write notes.
Where my daughter found means to be an indepenent, well rounded, vital person who happens to be deaf, Mom has become first someone who can’t hear, even with a new digital hearing aide, and a person who everyone must do things for. She has become dependent upon a resentful boyfriend, and her only child, me, to make phone calls to doctors and utility/ repair companies. Her social life consists of going to gambling establishments.
I wonder if the age at which one loses one’s hearing… or the cause of one’s loss of hearing… makes a difference in how one reacts to the situation.
I think it depends upon the person herself.